Manic Witch

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Goodbye Friend

I think I can do this-post about what happened yesterday.
We hated the clock from the minute we woke up to get the girls ready for school. We kept thinking "he only has 5 hours left to live" then 4, then 3....I had to turn the clock in the bathroom over so I couldn't see it counting down the minutes. We tried so hard not to cry in front of him-he is was such a worrier and we didn't want his last few moments spent worrying about us. I am normally obsessive about getting places early, but was in no hurry yesterday. At the very last minute we put on his leash for one last car ride. Because of his hips he wasn't able to do that for a very long time. We had the window open for him so he could feel the wind in his face. We waited in the room for a few minutes-an eternity, yet not nearly long enough. Dr. LadyVet was wonderful-gentle, caring, compassionate. She gave him a sedative to calm him down. Then she gave him the injection and we waited. I really expected it to take a few minutes. Within seconds-less than 20-he was gone. I just didn't expect it to be so fast, but I'm glad for him that it was. I felt his spirit leave his body. He died with his head in Hubs' lap, his favoritist place in the world. We came home and began cleaning the house. I remember as a kid, whenever we lost a pet, being so angry at my parents for cleaning the house, like they were trying to remove all traces of their existence. Now I know-it's just too painful seeing the food bowl and dog fur all over. Now I can't stand seeing the carpet still clean. Darth Vader has been looking for him since we got home. When we went to bed last night, I waited to hear him at his food bowl, the food sliding around the steel and hearing him slurp his water. We waited for him to wake us up in the middle of the night to go potty. When I was in the back yard, hosing out his food bowl stand (one of those that the dog doesn't have to bend all the way down to eat) I kept looking at the fence where he would bark, and he wasn't there. There is an indescribable void in the house.

"Dear God, O Horned One, Lord and Guardian of all beasts great and small. Please take our friend, our good and faithful and loyal companion safely over rainbow's bridge and into Summerland. He likes chocolate donuts, hot dogs and steak. But mostly he likes protecting his family. He has such a gentle soul unless his loved ones are threatened. Let him have a vacation, he's earned it, but when it is time for him to move on, help him find a family who will love him as we do. Give him kids to play with and guard, he loves kids. Please."

When we got home, a butterfly flew right up to us. I think the God heard me.

Originally uploaded by Manic Witch

Manic Witch wove her spell:: 9/06/2008 10:13:00 AM ::