Manic Witch

Monday, July 03, 2006

3 posts in one day?

Just how much Manic-y goodness can y'all take?
I'm cleaning out my email and instead of putting these on my hard drive, never to be seen again, I thought I would share some. (And for the record, I think the woman is this story is a twat).

I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women would differ so much. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit". We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Manic Witch wove her spell:: 7/03/2006 03:12:00 PM ::