Manic Witch

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

More lessons to learn from "Auntie Manic"

This week's lesson is on the do's and dont's of hair coloring:

Do-keep up with your roots. The white trash look is so last week.
Don't-try a new color or a different brand the day before you need to be somewhere ultra important, like court.
Do-realize that any color containing the word "Firecracker" in the description takes a lot of moxie to carry off. Most people just don't have that.
Don't-ever forget, no matter what color you use, it can/will stain: the sink, backsplash, floor, bathmat, shower wall, toothbrush...
Do-remember, just because the last 3 brands you tried didn't stain your skin doesn't mean that the 4th brand won't. You really don't want to go around with "hair dye face", do you? It just isn't attractive.
Do-keep the top flap of every box you try. The one time you do get a compliment on a color, you will be able to refer to it instead of spending an hour trying to remember if you used "Light Auburn" or "Light Reddish Brown" or "Light Brownish Red". And you have to note where in the color cycle you are. What started out as "Light Auburn" could be "Light Reddish Brown" by the time someone compliments you.
Do-know that there only so many times you can color over a bad dye job before your hair rebels and tries to jump ship. Sometimes you just have to live for a few weeks with your mistakes. If you can't, be prepared to shell out big bucks at a salon. And know that the color technician will make fun of you the second you leave. So make sure you pick one at least 5 zip codes over. Especially if you screw up again. Otherwise she will make fun of you right in front of your face.

Remember kiddies-I am still a professional clod. It takes years of training to reach my level of expertise. One day, you too may achieve greatness as a clod.

Next weeks lesson-if you notice the big gaping hole in the side band of your bra showing through your shirt, believe me, others will too.

Manic Witch wove her spell:: 6/21/2006 09:54:00 PM ::
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