Manic Witch

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Binge and purge

I think I've realized what part of my problem has been lately. I'm just overwhelmed with too much "stuff" in my life lately. Between work, family, court, Freecyle, "leisure" activities...something has to give. I used to moderate a local Freecycle group which also involved being on a couple of boards for moderators (local and state mods). It stopped being fun a long time ago, but I kept with it. I believe in the concept, but the other moderator was so busy with all her groups (she is involved in a LOT of behind the scenes stuff) that I was doing it all myself. I asked her weeks ago to find someone else and when I checked back with her, she said she hadn't even started looking. I gave her a weeks notice and then I pretty much just fell off the face of the earth. I didn't realize how much that weighed on me until I did that. I feel so much more relaxed now when I go online, knowing I don't have to deal with all the bullshit for that group anymore.
I also organized a bunch of the pics I have loaded on my 'puter. I found the same pics in 3 different folders as well as dozens I've "saved as" for future blogging purposes. I went through them all and just deleted most of them. What I thought was cute/funny/inspirational at the time is just taking up real estate, so out it goes.
Now I have to find other ways to try to streamilne my life. I have 3 knitting projects in my bag and feel like I have to complete them all as soon as possible. The Disco Scarf is for Endora and the Karoke Cable Scarf is for Agatha. And I want to get the Chinese Waves Blanket done so Queenie can send it off to China as soon as possible (knowing that it will still take her a while since she needs to go through Q's things first, AND there will always be another care package since the little sweetie is growing out of her clothes on a daily basis). Why do I put this pressure on myself? I started the Karoke Cable Scarf because I want to move on to something more challenging than just garter or stockinette stitch, but I also want something on the needles for Endora AND for when I just do want something mindless-its just a straight garter stitch. And I want to use up some of the baby yarn I have, so that is why I want to do the Baby Blanket. But really, there is no deadline here. The girls will still get their scarves before they are old and grey (the girls, not the scarves) and China will still be there-it has been for thousands of years, a few weeks isn't going to make a difference.

And with all this on my plate I still need to:
Finish a book I've been trying to read for a few weeks
Go through a huge pile of magazines
Organize my papers for the court battle
Load a bunch of CDs to my mp3
Laundry (always, laundry)
Sweep 9 pounds of pet hair from the house
Yard work-weeding, pruning, cleaning...

I know what my priorities should be. We finally have a break in the rain, heat and humidity this morning. But here I am, bitching about how I have so much I think I need to do, instead of just putting on a pair of shorts and going outside.
And re-reading this? Makes me realize just how stupid all this really is. No one HAS to do most of the stuff I have listed. In fact except for the cleaning and laundry, everyting on that list can wait forever or never be done. When did my "want to" list become my "need to"? And why?

Manic Witch wove her spell:: 6/03/2006 08:33:00 AM ::