Sunday, March 12, 2006

Don't ask. Don't tell.

Why does my mother keep doing this? Why does she keep sending me "God Squad" emails? Warm and fuzzy, "God loves you so send this on to 10 of your friends" type of shit? I think she knows that I am no longer christian. I am pretty sure she's seen the books on my bookcase. She hasn't said anything directly to me, and I haven't come out to the family and said "I'm a Witch" a la Sandra Bullock in Practical Magic. Maybe this answers my question. Maybe she thinks that this type of shit will bring me back from the dark side Luke. Either that or she just clicks on all of her contacts in her address book. Whatever reason I am making good use of my "delete" button.

On the other hand, she did send me this, so I can't hit delete for everything I get from her....

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has taken him for ten million bucks.

This bookkeeper is deaf, and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a
deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign
language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Don't you just love lawyers ?
Manic Witch wove her spell:: 3/12/2006 08:56:00 AM ::
| ---------------oOo---------------